-Still-

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Currently..im feeling rather scared and all..and to me,worship songs never fails to speak to me..and im praying and praying..cause im afraid of what may come.the past tt haunts..a past tt i would never want it to repeat,a past that left a scar so deep tt after 2 years im still coming to terms with.but im moving on..slowly.

hmmm...feeling rather pathetic in the morning..why do i still feel this way..i had a great time with dearie last nite..but yet..(is it jus me?)felt things were bit diff between us?good or bad?

awwww...my head hurtin like crazy..later still got things to do in church..pain!!

ciao

well..dun really know to say..probably jus bloggin for the sake of bloggin!?yah..but today was..haiz..forget it..its over.monday blues.TOTALLY!jus feel somehow at the warehse..everything i suggest-the storeman jus rejects..i've no idea how ami suppose to pass..but anyway jus nw..i caught up with jo'an,sarah,keng n..expt for karen whom i see almost every sun!ok..but i waited for them till i was super hungry!but it was so fun..gals talk n all..whaha..good laughs..talk abt fmss days n pple..crazy!ate at Pastamania..den slacked at Coffee bean..had a wonderful time!really cheered me up!the gals wanted to stay over at my place to watch Euro2004..talkin abt tt..maybe im watching too later..so goin to sleep now..nitez!!

-emo-
somehow ever since i came back from camp,i've been thinking abt my class alot.somehow i miss some pple..my ever kind,funny 'mother-in-law'..and the crazy bunch of pple..alfred,ivan..danaa,yanti,jusmin..but also havin the sense of guilt somehow that maybe i shouldnt ran away cause of i was rather sick of the class politics and the disappointments i was facing.the kind of attidudes and etc..but we did have fun times..funny jokes-running away as one united class?!haha..kinda miss those times..as i was saying guilty-cause maybe i failed being a Christian,not being able to bring them to see the Truth of God..realising in camp-i was the only Christian left tt they can 'depend' on.am i weak to not be able to face the class realistically?now,i cant do anything to change the fact i 'left' the class.Pastor Barnabas told me to take time off-personal retreat to think abt what i can do and not why did i leave...but i hope so much for those friends i treasure in poly-1L02,2L02..fen and gang,ken,eve,danaa and yanti..if should any happen-at least my greatest console cause of God's eternal life to us once we accept him-i'll still see all my friends i know and treasure and loved ones in Heaven..cause there's where i wana be..those of u reading-where do u want to be if God told u tmr you had to die?next ques:If you are at the gates of Heavens,what makes you think so u can enter?will you accept Him?to all my friends-i really miss you guys and love you gals and guys too..
For God said,"I am the Way, the Truth and the Life..."

tired tired tired..carried duno how many goods..cause of challenger!?my goodness..well..my dearie is away in camp nw..though im still bit paranoid(fact) but i still hope he has a wonderful time and im missing him lots right nw..

The Reason-Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person/as many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning/I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go/that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you/It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through/I wish that I could take it all away/And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person/I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go/That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

had lunch with the auditors today at marriots cafe.great food with wonderful company!not to mention,haha..pple,its free for me!muhaha..=)

today,im feeling like a drastic lousy person with absoultely no control my emotions.its jus churning n i cant express it out.im suppose to do worship for sun n i cant concentrate for nuts e whole day.prayed not to feel this way but its just feeling worst.im really paranoid.really insecure.really helpless.yet i cannot say cause i fear arguin,im scared wad i say will scare him away.like it seems everytime i cant bring myself to trust to a certain pt.its jus tt bit.i duno if im right to say this;but sometimes when im out-everything jus its like ok..topics nw between us its jus work,his camp,den my stuff..when i wana say something,i land up listening to his stuff again.ok-not tt i mind lot.nw..alot of things its jus his camp.sometimes i can see a scenerio know where like somehow maybe things like tt..den some other gal comes along..next thing i know,he's gone.cause i always kept a policy if u dun love me,i cant keep u either.kinda delaying time so he doesnt read nw..things jus somehow not goin smooth nw-personal problems with church like my most crucial part in my life?!so with this loomy feelin-things yah.jus cant help feeling camp there's another person..i mean,e last few days n weeks,its jus really so much abt his camp.i know he loves me alot n all..i shouldnt even be feeling this way..but yah.i do.*crying*i so need to plan my worship!!!yet i cant..darn!i got office work to do later yet all i did on my com was to type and type.but not the worship.

i so do not know wad's wrong with me..tmr im working yet all i can do is type..such a hypocrite right in front of my com.work is all i can bury myself in.wadever it is-jus work?freak..maybe i should jus gone for a drive with jem..instead of..haiz.i duno.

-unwell:im not crazy im jus a little impaired..-

absolutely stressed out nw i guess..like im not sure maybe pms huh..not funny.nvm.yah...been given a auditors job to do-test the companies systems n write a report?!im like wth..cause i've another report meant for my lecturer,my monthly report,so like overdue.still have no idea how to write.she,of all pple,has to be the one planning time-tables for my other classmates back in sch.said she was busy can only come next week.haiz,really its like-she keep saying next week?!!not tt im not enjoying my colleagues'company n all..jus yah,i've work to do!i duno..reports.

nw feeling weird..thought of some stuff which kept my insecure for almost the whole evening..really tried to push my thoughts out cause i dun think its like tt-but i cant help it?!jus felt miah's camp is i duno-for God i know but sometimes maybe i cant think straight cause of my pressure in work.though its nothing much(to some of u guys)im not so much of a multi-task gal in certain areas.thought abt sometimes like i duno if im saying this bit far-but im always givin way even though i was really tired on mon.came back from church camp-not really a great feeling though-not really rejuvenated.nw,jus feel bit like why sometimes i made sacrifices for.for one,i felt happy i could see him yet all i did was jus to sit across see him do his stuff-all abt his church camp..etc.i duno why i feel this way..not very understanding huh..gals.

frustrated with myself

thank God tmr is a holiday!!hmm..jus nw over lunch like kinda heard my colleague saying she may quit-my mentor!?yah..still not confirm but well-in any case,i've to learn what are the products and their uses fast.at least another 2-3 mths?she kinda confessed today..even the bosses know too?hmmm..poor gal in a way..

abt my work-quite panicky nw?like i've completely no idea how to settle the warehse-best part:no costs must be involved.shessh..!the space is like how small not to even mention to shift the goods ard.kinda stuck here.some more fri must hand in report-i'll be in KL for church camp.stuck in the hole man..later have to learn more things..nw-do BS n write my daily personal report..at least later i can do shopping and see miah too..ciao