miah and i went to watch ninja turtles last night. we were slightly late and when we went in, we were wondering for 10mins if we were watching the correct show! i had to comfort us by resorting to saying,"well, there's a quite no.of kids here." we were abt to panick when there was a scene whereby there was some forest ambush. suddenly a pair of eyes appeared in the midst of the bushes.

yeps. its ninja turtles. *roll your eyes, everybody*

while we were quite disppointed with the graphics of the animation, it was really cartoony. but the storyline was still a typical Ninja Turtle action-packed show.

give a 7 for story. a 5 for animations la.

oh well. i still like Micheagelo!! hilarious.

hate to be stuck in between.

i was just merely trying to help, but in return i got misunderstood.

seems its doesnt mean anything at all to them.

i need sleep.

there are times when i feel i just want to control the way things turn out. there are times i just simply would give anything to not have something within my power. there are also times, i feel i have been a complete dork when it comes to surrendering to Him.

today was one such day. it was not about the fact i didnt enjoy serving Him. But i hated the fact if things went just bad. the serving became a negative outcome to me. i didnt get to serve at my potential. instead it became something else. i guess everyone would tell me its just a learning thing. yeah, until i get the darn fact into my head, it currently reamains as i was not at my best at all. all i wanted to do was to really just put down my guitar. ran out of the stage. do my rampage of my feelings outside church. let my tears of frustration flow. i wanted so badly to pay back that overdue gratitude to God with that song. with my guit. to let Him take control. that, obviously did not happen.

when first rushing to church was a chore (i sometimes really wished for my own car for my own expense rather than getting everyone in my household with my erotic timing), next worship. when things could not have been bad enough, i had a comment on my dressing. final blow, my family actually did not mean in a bad way, but to them it was,

'wow. you're on stage now!! when's your first debut album coming out? you're a start now, hur.'

while i was cringing at every word of that sentence, 'what's wrong with you all? is my sincerity not obvious or what? im doing out of dedication not fame!?'

i hate today. by personal standards, im sorry, God, for not being at my best. it was really not my standard of worshipping you. you deserve all that you can get from me in worship. all that glory, all that honour. it solely belongs to You.

i guess im settling down bit by bit. im picking up the logic for daily reports day by day. a very essential and good thing for me. but at the expense of my work, yes, many things were sacrificed and 'paid for'. i dun really wanna elaborate here. just find myself very tired of explaing or vindicating issues. extremely low tolerance for that now. so many at times, i find myself just collapsing in bed the moment im home from work, due to exhausation.

this trial, lesson learnt is the importance of God in one's life. His powers and grace. His mercies. His faithfulness when i am unfaithful. To build treasures up in heaven rather than here on earth.

..men will fail you; but not God. His love endures forever.

a great week of relaxation. really had many good laughs!!

managed to go cell! tt's a great thing!!! next, i treated myself to a brand new phone and a new haircut! i got the maroon red Nokia E65. yeah yeah, i know im a "pan-tu" ('traitor' in Mandrian) while im working in Moto. oh well. i really do prefer Nokia in many ways than one. really a great time with my colleagues on fri - as we went to watch "Music and Lyrics" at PS. haha. miah was like the "rose" among the thorns. simin had to defend our girls dignity by rebuking we were the roses among a thorn. haha. so much for being a feminist.

really looking forward to just relax for the next week too. just really wanna have a good rest and break before starting another round of exposure or rather, stress-time.

i also have been blessed to be soaking myself in God's merciful hands and grace. i cant get enough of it. Help me not to worry, Jesus. let me trust you whole-heartedly.

oh!!!! i so need to say this. today, the hairdresser thought i looked like one of the Hong Kong actress!!!!! whaha. its not the first time i get such comment. *hint!!!!

thks karen, for today's devotional. means alot to me :)

at work. finished my reports for the day. quite glad abt it. at least i can slowly figure out the various formulas, requirements and etc. i am also slowly recovering from shingles. it looks pretty disgursting now. occasionally, it hurts and i cant really stretch nor move.

i am so grateful to God. so many at times i felt as though when i pray, nothing seem to change nor happen. but yes, i am glad that my mum is a stronger person in God. why do i say so? everytime i felt demoralised at work, i would just simply pour out all my troubles to her. to the extreme that i could not sleep well nor eat well. once in the morning, while i was waiting for the bus to work, she sms me. it contains words of wisdom that only God could reach thru. at the moment, i knew yes. i was a blessed child. the ideal parenting way is being practiced with me! using the word of God to educate my character, my-being and mental strength.

dad also reminded me that God couldnt help if i didnt help myself by thinking positive thoughts and being strong. i learnt it had to be both ways. so many things i am learning now. it feels so different from sch life.

i am going to work harder on my character and be stronger.

"when you turn your confidence towards God, you will be calm even in the midst of life's demands."