today is a super tiring day. have no idea why.

i hate the product that i took over. seriously, too many issues coming at a time. with slow response. hate it when i have to find pple from the other side of the world. just sometimes make things so damn difficult to expediate really.

back to basic question asked in pri school.

"what do you want to be next time?" i know i dun think i wanna be a mobile planner.

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

James 1:19-20

so much i need to change for Him. emo.

God will definitely prevail over such times. tons of stuff are happening lately. really morbid ones.

cant stand it.

emo.

happy anniversary to you. though times are trying and hard, but we believe we got what it takes and that God reigns in us, we'll get thru too =) we need to find that single purpose from Him.

a while ago i was at *somewhere* with my family. this is what i found in the ladies washroom. its kinda hilarious to see that sign the moment you close the cubicle door. this is what is reads:


Disclaimer: the gap above is barely 25cm. the thief gota be really skinny to come thru.

today i had to give God a shout out. to help me and really change me. often, i wish i was someone who is carefree, happy-go-lucky type of character. it makes things so much easier - or at least in my opinion. the only thing i could do to output, is to really just write out. i am not the kind of person who is good with words, especially when it comes to emotions. but i do know what i feel is downright depressing. i feel as though everything is going badly, outcomes will be negative, things i tried so hard but i will still eventually lose it.

God taught how to take the trash out ytd. all those unwanted things, if i had left the rubbish there, it will stink the entire house. its probable time to do some spring-cleaning. it is a constant struggle with what i go thru. now, i deal with sleepless nights or insufficient rest. i guess its caused by stress, but i feel it hard not to even think abt work at times. my contract is ending soon. i do not want to go into a job when its not where God wants me to go. for many times, i actually got calling to work in church. i have no idea why. i hope its not just me. i know i feel comfortable in church, for some reason. its like... a safe home. there are so many things in my mind right now. yet, for years, i nvr quite perfect the skill of dumping it all at the cross. isn't such a nice feeling when you see your room terribly and ridiculously neat and orderly? less things = less hindrance. agree? oh btw, i bought 2 bookshelves. i am literally clearing some stuff out. hopefully i wont be like del, throwing 6-7 big bags out. but i intend to do some good! paper must be recycled. save the earth. so pple, the 3Rs.. remember that!

back to topic. God seems to plan out the perfect route. today He speaks abt having the spirit of God using the word of God to change us. maybe i should take up the bible tonight and read the passage that pastor kow told us to read. romans 5-8 (or was it corinthians? dang! i need to find out). it speaks from handling all the nitty gritty stuff in life. family, financial and etc. glad that i was at Gary's hse-warming cum his daugther, Meagan, 1st mth. great gathering. had so much fun =) esp with GraceNotes!! ha!

God is forever faithful and He is an awesome God. Again, i will say, "Rejoice!".

yay! i got half day. i've been struggling with many sleepless nights. like its just tough. i gota forced myself to sleep. retarded, right? when i wake, the first thing that actually comes into my mind is work. its so easy to say..let off.. relax and not think abt work after 5. for some reason, i actually find it darn hard to do! so today, its alittle therapy for me. intend to walk ard town for a while. alone. jus really relax. think hard. what i wanna do. God. whatever lar. u name it. so long thinking, it will prob pass thru my head.

haha. maybe i should find time on the last week of Jul to go for the audtions for the adult ballet classes. find out which category i belong to. i hope not to basic. it will be such a shame since i learnt till Grade 6!

55 mins more to go...

sometimes i dun understand so many things seriously. its been on my mind for so long. what is it that defines it now? all that moments are just fragments in memories.

i dont understand why sometimes it is just like that.

tired. hate whatever i am feeling.

-dilemma-
i really dont really know what to feel now. i went for gym on saturday..i came back and started flipping through the papers while eating breakfast. i saw a couple of jobs that got my interest. i guess it didnt quite help when i am on the verge of leaving. i know i am not staying for renewing contract. yet, the dilemma lies in the outlook of my resume. the pt of not staying to fulfill a contract looks kinda a bleak spot to notice when managers are going to read it and ask, so, "why am i leaving?"

standard ans: i need a perm job.

not to mention that if i am the party to break the contract, i do not get my 13th mth bonus. sigh.

i may send in my resume and see how. i must have emphasized this a thousand and one times.. but i really hate growing up. all these decisions always just leave me grumpy and quiet. just feel like i am being sweep off my feet and left swirling around in this typhoon. aiyah. i hate this lar.

did i ever mention that there is Wentworth Miller look alike in my building???

not as hunky lar. but yeah, good looks!

i met him 3days in a row so far..so today.. hehe.. its been such a long time since i went gaga like tt.

such a terrific feast for the eyes =)

why does my shingles still hurt? thought i'd be recovered by now.

dang. sharp pain lar.

..i wonder why.

adult ballet classes

class one(type): with little experience in ballet. know some techniques.
held: Fri, 7.30pm
status: available (audtions)

class two: with experience, know the terms, ready to move on to intermediate level
held: Mon, 6.30pm
Sat, 7.30pm
status: available (auditions)

..hmmm. there's audtions? i do not why i struggle but i find it hard to go back. fears and apprehensions. i wonder where would i be. maybe i cant even make it into either of the 2 above. probably gota go back to faoundational class. hehe. i ponder.

..