Such is the harshness of the corporate world. Hearing the stories of what is happening is scary.
No business + no money = retrenchment (taking out on employees)

I was just added on to the statistics.

Should I call?

I stumbled on this website. Went practically emotional. I am just thinking of a particular subject.
ActsWeb - The Art of Staying in Love

Work is now so depressing with what is happening to my contract.

Need to cheer myself up. Somehow.

Re-org in the office can be a good or bad thing. And, mine happens to be bad. Argh. Think its gonna be darn tough working here. oh well. So depressing.

Think I need to catch up some movies in the theatres. Anyone interested? I am quite back-dated, but I do know there is Beowulf and Bee movie.

This Christmas is gonna be somewhat different. Again, the same whole emotions as 2 yrs ago. Maybe I can forget abt the whole idea of praying that our thoughts will be aligned to one another. Probably, it is true when its only you lose something, then you realised its importance. Guess we will never be realised. Christmas, a season of love and giving. Sigh.

It is really painful to go through this period of silence and ignorance. God, help me to be strong. Emo. Often I find myself breaking down emotionally and spiritually without tears. But, only the sounds of the shattering bits of my heart.

So, I could not find any jobs that is suitable. Signing on with my current job and knowing the reason, it is hard to declare things are not depressing.

This is really tough. It really is. Oh why. Why. Help me understand. Help me surrender my all.

It can get quite heart sore when you see situations like that.

While you watch everyone's love and passion for each other being the driving force of keeping two in a relationship, its quite an irony to see my love and passion being the motivator for keeping someone I like apart.

I duno what to make out of it. Heck, I'd concentrate on my work now.

It is weird to find myself in this situation once more. Really never expected it to happen again. But I guess, these few days of slience is probably an indication for me to really leave. To mean what I say. Sometimes I wished I didnt think too much, but I cant help but say it looks so factual.

Anyway, got granted an interview later today with one of US medical company. Kinda last minute but I hope I will know what to say and think. For some reason, everything in life seem so hopeless. I know God is there, but I just feel extremely tired of life. Not because I want to escape the working life and unhappiness that is going on, but really, all I just want is to lead a simple life, love, adore and serve God, have a great man and family. I'd love to just sit down and spent time with my loved ones over a cup of tea and exchange conversations abt life and God.

Yet, all these seem impossible. Sometimes, I just feel like I am working for the sake of getting to the normal "lifestyle" and fitting it all in. Deep down, I cant deny that amibitions nor money has any hold of me. again, we all need cash to move around... to even be "healthy". I have no idea. Everything seems senseless. No purpose. No life. Maybe it is just me. Its been such a long while when I last felt I was so alone. I would pick up my phone to see anyone msg/ call me. Am I filling up my void with other things? I duno. I guess this path is something I have go alone. I am scared and anxious of this unknown journey. I never thought it would happen, but it just did.

Maybe again, all the slience is an indication I should leave.

I need a glass of hot chocolate and mashmallows.